Final Destination 4 or Let’s get creative with human play-do!

11 09 2009

Alright, I admit I was not exactly expecting a sublime cinematic experience by watching Final Destination 4, but yeah, on the off chance I thought….hey, how bad could it be?

Very bad.

So the basic premise of the movie is to tell the viewer that Death cannot be cheated, in which case, go ahead Death. Toss the Rev. John Donne (him of The Sonne Rising, Valediction Forbidding Mourning, and Elegie: To His Mistress Going To Bed fame) out of the window and tell him that Death may indeed feel proud since it’s out to get you!

And once Death has decided you’re on the menu, nobody, not even Rajnikant can deliver you from that fate.

So moving along, our movie has four teenagers in the Hollywood tradition escape death owing to a supernatural vision descending on one of them while they devour fries at a car race.

The flustered teen manages to rush his peeps from the stands and out on to the street just seconds before a car crashes, a beam falls from the ceiling, some mechanic guy gets impaled on a bench and a whole host of other icky scenarios involving blood, guts and metal parts happen at random in very quick succession.

Thence begins the saga of churning human body parts being tossed here, there and everywhere on the screen. People get slammed by ambulances, a lady gets her eye gouged out by a rock caught under a lawnmower, a PYT escapes getting scraped into pancake batter at the car wash and one unfortunate All American boy ends up spilling his guts all over a public pool because he…cough….gets drained through a tiny hole at the bottom of the pool.

Oh joy.

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